UncategorizedJune 11, 2025June 16, 2025Camden Alchanati

Do We Have to Exchange Vows to Be Legally Married?

When planning a wedding, most people envision a ceremony filled with emotional vows, heartfelt speeches, and a declaration of love in front of family and friends. But what if you want to skip the traditional exchange of vows altogether? Is it legally necessary to speak your promises to each other to be considered married in the eyes of the law?

The short answer is no — exchanging vows is not a legal requirement to get married in many states, including California. At Get Married Today, we specialize in legally binding same-day marriages with or without a ceremony. Whether you’re a couple looking for privacy, simplicity, or urgency, we’re here to help you understand your options and make the legal side of marriage as easy as possible.

Let’s explore everything you need to know about legal marriage requirements, exchanging vows, and how we simplify the process.

Legal Requirements for Marriage in the United States

To be legally married in the United States, each state has its own set of requirements, but they typically include the following:

Obtaining a marriage license from the appropriate county clerk’s office or authorized provider.
Being of legal age (or having parental/judicial consent if underage).
Providing valid identification (e.g., driver’s license or passport).
Having a legal officiant perform the ceremony.
Filing the signed marriage license with the county clerk’s office.

Notice something missing from that list? That’s right — there is no mention of vows.

What Counts as a Legal Marriage Ceremony?

While laws vary slightly by state, a marriage ceremony does not need to follow a specific script or include personal vows. In California, for example, a legal marriage requires a declaration by the couple that they take each other as spouses, and that declaration must be made in front of a legally authorized officiant and at least one witness (or no witnesses if the couple uses a confidential marriage license).

Some officiants may ask couples to respond with a “yes” or “I do” when asked if they take the other person to be their spouse. That simple verbal exchange satisfies the legal requirement — and it doesn’t have to be poetic or elaborate.

Are Vows Just for Tradition?

In short, yes. Vows are a traditional and cultural element, not a legal one.

Customarily, couples exchange vows to express their love and promises to each other in a way that is meaningful and symbolic. Vows may be:

Religious or secular
Written by the couple or repeated after the officiant
Spoken privately or publicly
Emotional, humorous, or short and simple

But from a legal standpoint, none of this matters.

At Get Married Today, we help couples who prefer a minimalist legal ceremony or who are getting married under urgent circumstances. This includes military members, couples dealing with immigration deadlines, or those who simply want to make it official without a traditional wedding.

When Are Vows Typically Exchanged?

If you choose to include vows, they are usually said after the officiant welcomes guests and speaks about the meaning of marriage. The vows may be followed by:

The exchange of rings (also not legally required)
A pronouncement of marriage by the officiant
Signing the marriage license

However, none of these steps must include vows if you prefer not to say them. The core legal element is the declaration of consent — your intention to marry — and the completion and filing of the marriage license.

Do We Need a Ceremony at All?

Not necessarily. If you’re wondering whether a full wedding ceremony is required, the answer is also no.

In many U.S. states, including California, couples can get married in a brief legal ceremony that includes:

Signing the marriage license
Making a brief declaration before an officiant
Filing the documents

That’s it.

At Get Married Today, we offer civil ceremonies and confidential marriage license services in a variety of locations — from our office to your home, a hospital, a beach, or even a park. And yes, we can marry you without vows, without guests, and without a big event.

Legal Marriage Without Vows: Examples

Let’s consider a few real-world scenarios:

1. Military Deployment

A couple needs to get married quickly before one partner is deployed. There’s no time to plan a ceremony or write vows. At Get Married Today, we handle the entire legal process — marriage license and officiant — in one visit, and the couple is legally married within an hour.

2. Immigration Sponsorship

A couple must marry quickly for immigration filing purposes. They want to be legally married without delay, without a ceremony or guests. We provide the license, officiate the ceremony, and ensure all paperwork is filed the same day.

3. Private Elopement

A couple wishes to keep their union private and avoid traditional expectations. They choose not to exchange vows or rings. We meet them at their preferred location, handle everything discreetly, and give them proof of marriage immediately.

Each of these examples shows that a legal marriage can happen without vows, rings, or fanfare.

Confidential Marriage Licenses and No Witnesses

One of the most popular options for private couples is the confidential marriage license, which is available in California.

Here’s what makes it unique:

No witnesses are required.
The marriage license is not part of the public record.
Both parties must be living together at the time of the application.
The marriage is just as legally binding as a public marriage.

This is perfect for couples who don’t want anyone else present and don’t want the event published in public records.

You also don’t need to exchange vows. We simply have you affirm your intent to marry, and our officiant makes it official — all without a traditional ceremony.

Learn more about confidential marriage licenses here.

The Role of the Officiant

In a legal marriage, the officiant plays a key role. They must:

Be legally authorized (such as a notary, minister, priest, or judge).
Ask for verbal confirmation of intent from both parties.
Complete and sign the marriage license.
File the license with the county clerk’s office.

At Get Married Today, we are legally authorized to issue your marriage license and officiate your ceremony — all in one convenient visit. We ensure the paperwork is complete and filed properly so you don’t have to worry about anything.

Schedule your same-day marriage now.

Do We Have to Exchange Rings?

Just like vows, rings are a symbolic tradition, not a legal requirement.

While many couples enjoy this part of the ceremony, especially for photos or emotional meaning, it is completely optional. You can legally marry without exchanging rings, just as you can legally marry without exchanging vows.

This makes it easier for couples on tight schedules, limited budgets, or those who simply want to keep it low-key.

Why Some Couples Skip Vows

Here are the most common reasons couples choose not to exchange vows:

Time constraints — urgent legal or personal deadlines
Privacy — they prefer to avoid public expression of emotion
Anxiety or speech issues — not everyone is comfortable speaking
Efficiency — they simply want to make it official
Future ceremony plans — many couples plan to hold a vow exchange or celebration later

In all of these cases, a legal marriage is still fully valid and recognized under California law and U.S. federal law.

Do You Need a Witness?

In California:

Public marriage license: Requires one witness, or two maximum.
Confidential marriage license: No witnesses required.

If you don’t want a guest or witness at your wedding, the confidential license is ideal. And again, you still don’t need vows — only a declaration of intent.

See our full guide to marriage licenses here.

How Get Married Today Makes It Easy

At Get Married Today, we specialize in same-day legal marriages with no courthouse visit required. We issue the marriage license, officiate your wedding, and file the paperwork — all at the same time and location.

Benefits of choosing us:

No appointment needed at the courthouse
Vows optional
Rings optional
Witnesses optional (if using a confidential license)
No waiting period
24/7 availability, including holidays
Mobile service to your home, hospital, hotel, park, or any location
Apostille service for international use available

Start your marriage process today.

What Happens After the Ceremony?

Once you’ve declared your intent to marry and the officiant completes the license:

We file the license with the County Clerk.
We can order certified copies for your records or for legal use.
If needed, we can apostille your marriage certificate so it’s recognized internationally.

Even if you didn’t exchange vows, the legal process is fully complete — and you are officially and lawfully married.

Read how to get your marriage certificate here.

Conclusion: Vows Are Optional, Marriage is Legal

To summarize:

Vows are not required to be legally married.
You only need to declare your intent to marry in front of a legal officiant.
You can be married without a traditional ceremony, vows, rings, or even guests.
At Get Married Today, we make the process simple, fast, and private.

Whether you’re in a rush, want to avoid public declarations, or simply want a quick and easy legal marriage, we’re here for you.