Do We Have to Exchange Vows to Be Legally Married?
In a world where weddings range from lavish affairs to quiet courthouse signings, couples often ask: Do we have to exchange vows to be legally married? This is a great question—especially for those who want a simple, private, or quick marriage without the ceremony trimmings. Whether you’re eloping, navigating immigration timelines, or simply looking to make your union official without a traditional wedding, it’s important to understand what the law actually requires.
In this post, we’ll break down everything you need to know about legal marriage requirements in the U.S., with a special focus on California law. We’ll also explain how Get Married Today makes it easy to get legally married—even if you skip the vows, the guests, or the fanfare.
What Makes a Marriage Legal?
To be legally married in the United States, a few core components are required. While laws vary slightly by state, the essentials usually include:
- Marriage License – A legal document issued by the county clerk or appropriate authority.
- Marriage Ceremony – Conducted by a legally authorized officiant.
- Marriage Certificate – Filed after the ceremony and signed by both parties and the officiant.
There is no federal law that mandates how a wedding must be conducted, nor is there a requirement for public vows or even guests.
✅ Source: U.S. Census Bureau – Marriage Laws
Are Vows a Legal Requirement?
No. Exchanging vows is not a legal requirement to be married.
In most states—including California—the couple must declare their intent to marry in front of a licensed officiant and witnesses (if required by the license type). This declaration can be as simple as answering “I do” when asked a question like: “Do you take this person to be your lawful spouse?”
There is no law that says you have to write or speak custom vows. If you prefer to say nothing other than “yes” or “I do,” that’s entirely acceptable in the eyes of the law.
✅ Source: California Family Code § 420
What If We Don’t Want a Ceremony at All?
That’s perfectly fine. In California, couples may choose a Confidential Marriage License, which does not require witnesses and can be processed without a formal ceremony if conducted privately by a licensed officiant.
At Get Married Today, we offer exactly this: a legal marriage without the traditional ceremony. You can get married at our location, your home, a hospital, or even in your car—no vows or guests needed.
👉 Learn more: Get Married Today – Confidential Marriage License Services
What About Other States?
Most states in the U.S. do not require vows. However, some states do require a form of verbal acknowledgment during the ceremony—typically a “yes” or “I do.”
For example:
- Nevada – Requires a declaration of intent in front of the officiant and witness.
- Texas – Requires that the marriage be declared in the presence of an officiant.
- Florida – Similar structure; the officiant must ask a question that receives a “yes” or “I do” in response.
Even in these states, formal vows are not required—only a verbal affirmation.
✅ Source: NCSL – Marriage Laws by State
Can You Get Married Without Speaking at All?
In limited circumstances—such as for persons who are non-verbal or have disabilities—affirmation through other means is accepted, such as nodding, sign language, or written communication. Courts and counties make accommodations when needed.
Still, it’s vital that the officiant clearly records the couple’s intent to marry and reports it accurately on the certificate.
✅ Source: ADA and Marriage Ceremony Accommodations
Can You Get Married Without a Ceremony or Witnesses?
In California, yes—if you use a Confidential Marriage License.
This type of license is perfect for couples who:
- Want privacy
- Do not have or want witnesses
- Are eloping quickly
- Need a fast, legally binding union
Get Married Today specializes in these kinds of marriages. We issue the license and conduct the legal ceremony—no public vows or ceremony are necessary.
📌 Learn more: California Department of Public Health – Marriage License Types
What Does the Officiant Need to Say?
Each officiant conducts the marriage slightly differently. However, a legally binding marriage in California must include:
- A statement of intent (“Do you take this person…”)
- A confirmation by each partner (“I do” or similar)
- Completion and signing of the marriage license
That’s it. Anything beyond that—poems, personal vows, rituals—is optional.
✅ Source: California Family Code § 420
Who Can Legally Officiate?
In California, marriages may be officiated by:
- A priest, minister, rabbi, or authorized religious leader
- A civil officiant such as a judge or commissioner
- A licensed notary or ordained minister (like those at Get Married Today)
You can’t marry yourself, but you don’t need a church, chapel, or courthouse. Our team brings the license and the officiant to you, even same-day.
✅ Source: California Secretary of State – Marriage Officiants
Can We Have a Legal Marriage Without a Wedding?
Absolutely.
In fact, many couples do this when:
- They’re preparing for immigration applications
- One partner is in the military or deployed
- They want spousal benefits quickly
- They plan a larger celebration later
- They simply want a quiet, no-fuss union
Get Married Today offers a legally binding marriage with zero delay. Our services include:
- Issuing your marriage license
- Performing the legal ceremony (with or without vows)
- Submitting the license for registration
- Providing optional notarization and apostille services for international use
📌 Learn more: Get Married Today – How It Works
What If I Want a Wedding Later?
Great! A legal marriage now doesn’t prevent you from celebrating later. Many couples choose to:
- Have a private legal marriage today, and
- Host a public wedding celebration months or years later
You can write vows, invite guests, and celebrate without legal pressure.
✅ Read: CDC – U.S. Marriage Trends
How “Get Married Today” Makes It Simple
At Get Married Today, we believe that getting married should be easy, fast, and stress-free. Whether or not you want vows, a chapel, or guests, we help you get legally married without court delays or waiting periods.
Our services include:
- 💍 Same-Day Marriage License
- 🕊 Legal Wedding Officiation
- 📝 Marriage Certificate Filing
- 🌐 Apostille for International Use
- 🏠 In-Home, Hospital, or Outdoor Ceremonies
No vows? No problem. We ensure your marriage is legal, confidential (if you wish), and fully recognized—across the U.S. and abroad.
📍 Based in Southern California, we serve:
- Los Angeles County
- Orange County
- Riverside County
- San Diego County
- Ventura County
✅ Book your same-day wedding here: https://getmarried.today/
Summary: Do You Have to Exchange Vows to Be Legally Married?
| Question | Answer |
|---|---|
| Are vows required for legal marriage? | ❌ No |
| Do we need witnesses? | ✅ Depends on the license type (confidential licenses do not) |
| Can we get married without a ceremony? | ✅ Yes, with a licensed officiant present |
| Can we marry without saying anything? | ✅ Yes, if intent is confirmed |
| Is Get Married Today licensed to do this? | ✅ Yes, we issue licenses and perform legal marriages on-site |
Final Thoughts: Love Doesn’t Wait—Neither Should You
Whether you’re rushing to meet a deadline, avoid long wait times at the courthouse, or just want a private legal marriage, the process doesn’t have to include vows, rings, or guests.
The only thing required is your intent. And Get Married Today is here to make that happen—today.
Helpful Links and Resources
- California Department of Public Health – Marriage Licenses
- California Family Code – Legal Marriage Requirements
- U.S. Census – Marriage Laws by State
- California Secretary of State – Marriage Officiants
- Get Married Today – Official Website
- NCSL – Overview of Marriage Laws
- CDC – National Marriage Statistics
- ADA.gov – Accessibility in Marriage Services
- Los Angeles County Registrar/Recorder – Marriage Services
- Orange County Clerk-Recorder – Marriage Services